Monday, December 04, 2006

My first MeMe

Okay, so here's my thing.....No Cool Story tagged me for a Christmas meme. Since I had no idea what that meant, I had to consult with my Blog expert. (Sorry this is new to me!). Well, here it goes:

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Neither! I am basically allergic to everything! My doctor once suggested I be placed in a plastic bubble but, you guessed it, I'm allergic to plastic. I'm very allergic to chocolate. If I even touch it a have trouble breathing. If I eat it, or drink it as this case may be, I have seizures! I'm not a huge fan of eggs thanks to my dear old dad! When I was a child he sat me down, cracked open an egg, and preceded to show me the umbilical cord. He said he wasn't sure if an egg was a "chicken's period", "chicken's abortion" (do they have the morning after pill for chickens?), or a "chicken's miscarriage"! I have had a hard time keeping them down ever since. However, my family was very excited when they asked my husband to buy them Egg Nog one year in Arizona. Having been born and raised in Utah, he had no idea some Egg Nog contains alcohol. My family really got into the holiday "spirit" that year!

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Unfortunately, he wraps them. I have to be totally honest here. I am anti-wrapping paper. Every Christmas I try to get people to band together and boycott wrapping paper sales. We, as consumers, are so stupid!!!! We pay horrendous prices for colored paper! Then we spend hours cutting, tapping, and folding this paper onto weird shaped presents. Have you ever tried to wrap a golf club, football, toilet brush??????? After spending hours creating this work of art, this paper is ripped off, strewn all over the floor, and discarded never to be thought of again. Unless of course you are like my mother. Then you must attempt to get your paper off without ripping it so you can gently place it in a box and reuse it. I find this is handy only if you give the same gifts every year! (What to get Coz this year? Oh yeah, I have paper already wrapped into the shape of a toilet brush!!!! Problem solved).

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? Don't even get me started!!! I love Christmas lights. I believe that you don't have enough lights on your house unless you can see it from space! I personally like the white icicle lights for the house. If you are going to put lights on your trees or bushes, let me tell you this.....It is totally moronic to throw one string across a couple branches. People will mock you! If you are going to do it, be thorough. It cheapens the Christmas spirit to have one string of lights covering a 40 foot oak! When I see this I get so irate I stop my car and steal your mail! It gives me pleasure to imagine your feelings when you think dear old Aunt Edna forgot to send you a Christmas card!!! So please, don't force me to retaliate. Either deck the house all the way out or stick to the house! Due to the fact that our Christmas tree is a Star Wars Christmas tree we have to use white lights. My husband won't allow colored lights. It interferes with the color of the light sabers.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? Not since the hubby started putting it on his pants! Enough said!

5. When do you put your decorations up? Thanksgiving day. I am an executive with a retail store. I only get Thanksgiving off. After that comes black Friday! My family doesn't see me after that until Christmas is over. If I want to participate in the decorating (which consists of taking the Star Wars ornaments out of the boxes....Only Steve gets to put them on the tree) we have to do it this day.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? Real mashed potatoes made with butter, garlic, and whipping cream! I pile it on my plate and pretend I'm Richard Dreyfuss in Close Encounters of the Third Kind!!!

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child: I don't really have any from my childhood. My parents were divorced and my mother told us every year that Santa doesn't visit single parent houses. (I'm sure you are thinking this explains a lot about me!) My favorite memory with my children was in Logan, Utah. My daughter wanted a bike. She had written this letter to Santa explaining how she wanted it but would understand if it cost too much. We had a balcony where we put the bike. We attached fishing wire to the handle bars and tied the other end to a jewelry box. We placed the box under the tree in the very back. Brittney thought all the gifts had been opened. I could tell she was disappointed but she smiled and thanked us for everything. I asked her what that little white box was all the way in the back of the tree? She got it and started following the fishing line. I will never forget her opening the balcony door and collapsing into tears of gratitude. It was the most humbling experience to watch this sweet child. I will never forget it!!!

8. How and When did you learn the truth about Santa? I don't understand the question. What truth about Santa???!!!!???

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Only if the kids are getting pj's. Now that they refuse to wear matching outfits we stopped giving them. I thought about giving everyone a coat like the one from "Better Off Dead" but I doubt any of them would wear yak fur so what would be the point!

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? First of all, I like real trees better then fake but I'm no longer allowed to have one. Steve says sap could get on his ornaments. Second of all, our tree is all Star Wars! We used to have Yoda at the top of it. In recent years, Steve has switched to Darth Vadar. I once raised objections to this. My husband and I argued about what Star Wars has to do with Christmas!!!! When I came home the next night, Steve had all the children sitting at his knee. He was telling them the "true story of Christmas". It is hard to argue with your 3 year old when she is telling you of the ultimate story of love and forgiveness. Now I just smile and let him do his thing.

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? Love it!!!! I don't mind the cold (I can always put more clothes on if I'm cold but I can only take so much off when I am hot before I am arrested or scar someone for life).

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? Once again, I didn't get gifts as a kid. I did get a hair sample of my mom once to make a voodoo doll out of. Now every year I poke it with an ornament hook for good measure.

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Sleep!!!! I work retail! The hours are long this time of year!

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Why limit it to the holidays? I love dessert period!!!! I could eat a whole gallon of Peppermint Stick Ice Cream in my underwear watching movies. I would gladly partake of your pecan pie if you are offering. I love it!

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Leaving corn out for the reindeer so they can fly to the next house. It's "corny" but then again, so am I.

17. What tops your tree? A gigantic Darth Vader head! (my husband is obsessed).

18. Which do you prefer giving or Receiving? Is this a trick question???? I suppose the correct answer is giving. However, I missed out on a lot of receiving years. Either way I answer this question it will sound shallow! Can I phone a friend? Poll the audience?

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? My favorite is "Oh, Holy Night". Does anyone else have issues with Neil Diamond making a profit with Christmas songs???? I mean, I love the guy as much as the next but I find it offensive when he sings songs like, Silent Night, Away in the Manger, O Little Town of Bethlehem, etc. The guy is a practicing Jew! Last time I checked they didn't recognize Jesus as the Savior of the world. Why is he singing about it!!!! That is why I totally respect Adam Sandler! I will take his "The Hannukah Song" any day over Neil Diamond's "Silent Night".

20. What is your favorite Christmas story? Do you really have to ask? When the dad brings home the lamp with fish net stockings, when the tongue gets stuck to the pole, when Ralphie shoots his eye out with the red rider bb gun.....Genius, pure genius.

Well, there you go! Am I supposed to tag someone now??? If so I hereby would like to tag:-Millie. (Sorry Gnat, you're the only one I know!)

13 comments:

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

In the words of Frank Drebin after he was caught swimming in raw sewage:

"I LOVE IT!"

So funny. I'm linking this to my post about Utah so that anyone who reads it (even though it's so 2 weeks ago) can see your tree.

Suzanne said...

I agree about the Neil Dimond thing. It seems strange he'd even do Christmas songs.

It was fun to read your Meme! :)

No Cool Story said...

What tops your tree? A gigantic Darth Vader head!. I never thought I would read such a thing, ever.
Finally I get to see the famous Star Wars Christmas tree!, pretty awesome I must say.
I hear you on the wrapping of the present, which is exactly what I have to go do right now.

You did great Coz, thanks for playing along.

Julie said...

What I want for Christmas is a Red Rider BB Gun with a wood stock and this thing which tells time....

Classic movie. I like your meme almost as much as I like the movie.

The Darth Vader tree topper nearly put me under the ground.

Anonymous said...

Okay. I have one question.

WHO is so out of their TINY MINDS that they sent someone a TOILET BRUSH HOLDER for Christmas?????!

Bwaaahaaaahaaaaaa! Tag me, oh go on, tag me :D

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

I was also going to yell AMEN on the Neil Diamond thing. But I forgot.

I also love Adam Sandler's Hanukkah song.

Valarie said...

excellent first meme.

I've had the same thoughts about Barbara Streisand's Christmas album.

Anonymous said...

Ditto on the non-Christian singers singing blatently Christian songs. Love the blog -- I've tagged it as one of my favorites. I may even link you on mine :)

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